


Riches of the Commonwealth Part 2

by Lorethcrow



Series: Riches of the Commonwealth [2]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alcohol, Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Use, F/M, Gun Violence, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorethcrow/pseuds/Lorethcrow
Summary: **NEW AND IMPROVED!! NOW WITH MORE ANXIETY! MORE FEAR! MORE PAIN!**Just when you thought things were going well and this was a happy story our mercenary takes on a job that is anything but the cake walk she was expecting. Leana comes face to face with the one thing no mortal can defeat: Their own Mortality.As ever, though, she can overcome the challenge and make it out to claim her reward. That's what she does! And her reward is a potential happy ending. That's all anyone really wants, right? A happy ending.
Series: Riches of the Commonwealth [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874221





	1. Lost in Memories

On the far eastern edges of Boston the air smells of hot seaweed and asphalt, a hint of decay lingering after the wind passes that adds to the perfume of a destroyed city. Crouched down in a debris filled alley Leana peeks around the corner of some long-abandoned office building to watch the road she had been following for the last hour. Hairs stood on the back of her neck as she waited with held breath. Something had moved but she couldn’t see what it was but whatever it had been caused a cascade of bricks to clatter across the street. The noise had sent her panicking into the alleyway with a hand to her pistol.  _ Ghouls? Likely. It’s too quiet for super mutants. Too quiet for raiders, too. Gotta be ghouls. Mole rats aren’t as common with all the cement around. So ya, probably feral ghouls.  _ _ Not my favorite things to fight it they’re at least predictable. _

Leaning back against the wall Leana slowly counted to 50 while listening for any movement.  _ Something is out there. I’ll wait it out and mess up it’s attempted ambush. No irradiated mindless blob of bullshit is going to sneak up on me and get away with it.  _ _ And if it is ghouls then I know they’re not patient, or smart, so they’ll either rush toward me or forget all about me. I kind of hope for the later... _

_ 37 … 38 … 39 … 40 … 41 … What was that??  _ Her impatient counting was interrupted by the obvious sound of something rattling down a mound of detritus. When she peeks back into the road Leana saw the twisted form of a feral ghoul crawling across a mound of broken building pieces. Smaller pieces of the wreckage slide down making enough noise to echo through the abandoned road and she was willing to bet the sound was going to draw in more ferals.

_ Ah. Ghouls. Like I thought. I wonder if this one is part of the bigger pack I’m hunting down.  _ She quietly slid her 10mm from it’s holster and screwed in the suppressor.  _ I should just take you out now, though. Too close to where I plan to camp tonight.  _ Taking her eyes off the ghoul long enough to visually confirm the safety was off the gun and it was loaded, Leana looked back up at her target.  _ Yes that’s right. Lay down in the road. Good idea. It’s definitely safe there.  _ _ Rad-eaten brain forgot all about me already, huh? Figured it would. _

Aiming from around her corner, hands steady as she lines up the sight with the Ghoul’s head, she pulls the trigger. The suppressed short cut through the air to create a pink mist where the ghoul’s head had been,  the exit wound a gaping hole of gore splattered across the cracked pavement .  _ One down, plenty more to go. I don’t think we’ll ever really see the end of these things. _

Keeping her pistol in hand but aimed low, Leana came out from behind the wall and moved closer to the ghoul’s remains to check for anything useful.  _ Best source of Rad-X and Radaway, really. I wonder if that’s the ghoul’s attempt at reverting back to at least some semblance of humanity?  _ Checking through the ghoul’s pockets she did indeed find a few pellets of Rad-X. “Poor shit. You probably wanted to save yourself, huh?” 

Not realizing she had spoken out loud, Leana’s attention snapped to the left when another ghoul in armor crawled out from under the remains of a desk. “Oh well, hello there.” Raising her pistol again she let loose several shots to the ghoul’s shoulder and torso. It staggered from the gunshots but still struggled to its feet. “Nope, you need to go down!” 

Several steps back put the dead ghoul between her and the new one. Known to charge at their targets she hoped the corpse would trip up the armored ghoul, giving herself enough time to aim the 10mm at the head. “Night night, ugly!” A few more silenced rounds went into the gaping mouth of the monster dropping it to the ground with a wet splatter. Returning to her crouched stance, she waited a handful of moments for anything else to crawl out before checking the last ghoul to see if it carried anything useful. 

Pocketing the armored ghoul’s silver locket and crushed pack of cigarettes, she made her way back down the road toward a building she knew would be safe. This edge of Boston was hit or miss as far as safe places to sleep were but she and  her old mercenary crew  had set up a few buildings as neutral zones. She knew one was just a few buildings down and likely unoccupied.  There were still a couple crews that knew about them but last Leana had heard they were all working in the southern end of Boston.

_ Considering I know James went down a few months ago to super mutants. Sort of sad to hear about how they found him, too. He was a great backup and really knew his way around a terminal. Ingrid was almost a year ago now I think. She went down to an infection from ghouls. Nasty way to go. I’d like to avoid that if I can.  _ _ As much as I miss her, I don’t know if I want to follow her like that _ _.  _ Pausing in her recollections, Leana waited to make sure the coast was clear before jogging across the road and to the fire escape that wrapped around the outside of  her intended building. 

_ It was Will that taught me how to set traps. We lost him to radiation. Well, radiation and age. Not too many make it to be 60 and he was what… I think almost 70?  _ Fishing through a pocket on her bag, she produced the key needed to open the gate at the base of the stairs. Closing and locking that behind her, she counted stairs as she climbed. “13th stair is loose, 20th stair is missing, 26th stair is rigged, and the 40th stair is a trapdoor.” Reciting it as she went, she made sure to hop over the stair that was trapped after making sure the trap was actually still in place.

Eventually making it up to the third floor, she used her key again to open the last gate and enter the makeshift camp area.  Mostly intact, the third floor of the building had a semblance of carpet, most of the four walls, massive windows without any glass, and a fire ring ready and waiting. Next to the brick circle was a small stack of logs, a very rusted chair, and several empty bottles. “ Aw, someone left me some wood! How nice.” 

A few pieces of furniture remained but the thing she was most glad to see was the battered yellow trunk. Weather-beaten and dented, that trunk held a handful of useful items that everyone tried to keep stocked. Depending what was in there would tell her who had been here last. It would also tell her who might still be alive. Checking their dead drops recently had gotten her nothing, no news, no updates, and she was starting to wonder if everyone she had worked with was already dead. “Dead or moved on. Maybe in a nice settlement somewhere. A family of their own.”

Doing a quick circuit of the open area to make sure no bugs had moved in, Leana sighed contentedly. “Safe and sound. Or, mostly sound. Still no roof.” Chuckling a little at a memory she looked up at the clear sky. “I think it was Denise that complained about that the most. She always did prefer a roof.” The chuckle faded away, replaced with a frown as she ran a hand through her hair. “I really can’t … No, I shouldn’t think about them. It’s bad luck to talk about the dead before a job.” Tying the ribbon in her hair tighter she finished her preliminary security rounds and set her heavy pack down next to the small camp area. 

“Home sweet home, that’s what you called it all those years ago.” Looking around her with a small sigh, she nudged the wood pile with a toe that proved the wood was soaked from the recent rain. “Great … Someone left me wet wood. Nice, guys…. Real nice. I can’t remember who all is still alive but whichever one of you left this out, you’re an asshole.” Shaking her head before grabbing the container of trip wire and mines that was kept in a locked trunk behind the dresser, Leana set to work rigging the stair landing to blow improvised explosives.

Now that she felt safer from attack she was able to start getting the camp set up.  She wished someone had thought to repair the old radio but loud noises could also attract enemies. Camping in silence was the hardest part about working alone and talking outloud. was the only way she’d remember how to use her voice sometimes.  “Sun’s gonna be down here soon. Maybe half an hour?” A look at the sky told her that the weather should hold as well. “Not too cloudy. And not green, so there’s that.”

Poking the wood a few more times in a hopeful way she determined it would indeed be useless to her.  _ Too wet to burn and too rotted to build anything with. Won’t even make a good chair. Seriously, who left this here? _ Exhaling with a grumble she carried the refuse to one of the huge gaps in the wall and chucked it out.  _ Though I think the real question is more who is still alive? I hadn’t heard from any of the others or seen signs of them.  _

Hands on her hips she looked at the walls with a frown. “There used to be more coverage up here. Look at this. That whole west wall is gone and it took some of the floor with it. The north wall’s barely standing. At least my East wall and south wall covering the stairs look stable.” Standing in front of where a wall used to be the wind that had been following her whipped through her shelter and knocked down leftover cans. “Great. And it’s windy. Fantastic.” 

Unrolling a sleeping bag to lay out near what would have been a fire pit, she checked a few of the holes. “I’m starting to think I just sleep in a roll of duct tape at this point. Draftier then these walls…” Cutting off a few strips of her precious tape to cover a newly discovered tear hid more of the once-yellow fabric. “Might be time to start making a new one. I can get more leather from Diamond City, probably. Might last longer then this old thing and give more protection. Hotter though, if it’s going to be anything like my pants.”

Sitting back on her heels to inspect the handywork, Leana exhaled heavily. “Though I miss the nice bed at the Red Rocket. No holes in the blanket and it wasn’t on the floor.” Another blast of wind ripped through the wall with a distinct drop in temperature. “And there are -walls- at the Red Rocket. Real ones. No holes in them.  In fact, the whole building had a distinct lack of -hole- and very prominently secure .”

Digging through the old trunk along what was left of the north wall she grumbled quietly. “Used to be we’d keep this stocked with actual useful things. Now it’s empty cans and bottles, someone’s cram container, and hardly any wood. What has this world come to that no one keeps up their end of the bargain? I’m starting to think I really am the last one left.” Finally able to find the kindling and wood she was able to start getting at least some semblance of heat going. It didn’t seem to matter how dry the wood was, though, because as soon as a wisp of smoke started the wind would come through and snuff it out. 

Groaning loudly before pocketing the remains of her lighter, Leana just scowled at the area around her. “This… is bullshit. This is also exactly why I hate these jobs! Ghoul hunting always means ruin-crawling. Ruins means shit conditions.” Poking at the poor excuse of a fire pit she surrenders and starts packing the materials back up again. “Fine. I’ll just be in the dark and the cold. It’s fine. Whatever.”

The wood replaced in the trunk she found a can of baked beans and cracked that open. “Mmm cold dinner again. Goody. I really miss his cooking.  And hot food. Cooked food really does do wonders for your mental health. ” After a few spoonfuls of her canned beans, Leana watched as the sky darkened further. Clouds gathered on the horizon and looked like they were heading her way. “Wind’s picked up … This does not bode well. Tonight is going to be cold, windy, wet, and -dark-. Joy of joys.” Sarcasm thicker then dust covering the carpet Leana resumed her dinner in sullen grumbling.

Her can was finished with barely enough light left for her to try again at starting a fire. Using some leftover wood scraps she managed to get some smoke going, a few flickers of fire curling through the twigs only to be snuffed out by the wind again.

“Oh come ON! It’s the least you could give me…” Groaning as she started re-arranging the bricks to offer a little more shelter it started to become obvious the effort was being wasted. Dejected, tired, and cold she gave up again and collected the small lantern out of the trunk after throwing her twigs inside. A bottle of precious oil was mostly empty but she poured it into the reservoir for the lantern before setting it down near her sleeping bag. “This will do for emergencies, I guess.” 

Fumbling a little in the dark, she sat back on her heels and looked up at the cloudy expanse of sky. “No stars, no moon, just clouds and blackness tonight.” A deep breath was exhaled as a tired sigh. “And it smells of rain. I should set my tarp out just to be safe. It’s not going to protect me from the dark but I can at least be dry.”

Rigging the tarp as a low tent, curses aimed at the non-existent roof during the process, she finally arranged her sleeping area to be as covered as she could. “Gotta remember to make an actual -tent- next time I’m coming out on one of these shitstorm jobs. Fucking ruined buildings could at least keep a ceiling for me. Bastards.”

Removing her boots and reinforced vest followed by leather legplates and metal armored calf-plates, Leana squirmed into her sleeping bag finally. “All that armor and I’m still cold. What the fuck… Just wait. I’m expecting all this dark to mess with my head. Armor ain’t gonna do me shit if I’m hearing things…”

_ So many settlers assume the city is quiet because there’s not much that actually lives in these ruins anymore.  _ Her arms crossed behind her head and eyes mostly closed, Leana listened as the wind rattled through debris with enough force that buildings groaned.  _ The city is loud, actually. Sounds like it’s dying. Groaning in pain. Trying so hard to stay up even though it’s been through so much. 200 years of radiation and combat. I wonder if the buildings are tired of it all. Ready to just give up. What keeps them going after all this time? Spite? Determination to be the last one standing? _

Sleep was a struggle as every little sound around her reminded her of some threat or another. A bottle rolling across the slope of the floor reminded her of a Radroach’s skittering. A can falling over could be a ghoul crawling out of debris beneath her floor. “Goddamnitall. This city needs to shut up so I can sleep. Can’t give me any lights, no heat, but you could at least fucking be quiet! Can’t even think without it turning dark.”

It was the sound of the buildings that affected her the most, though. Her nerves were already on edge and exhaustion wasn’t helping at all.  _ They always remind me… Of Denise. Her pain at the end…  _ Another hefty blast of wind sent a shiver through the building eliciting a long, low moan.  _ Agony. That’s what the sound is. Agony and barely holding on. I could probably level most of this block with one bomb. Take me out with it but might be worth it to just silence that noise. Reminds me so much of those last few days.  _

Opening her eyes again though she saw nothing but cold and unforgiving darkness that invited old memories to come haunt her.  _ If we had just … Denise, we shouldn’t have taken that job.  _ Sitting up with her sleeping bag still enveloping her Leana crossed her arms over her knees to pillow her chin. “That was the last job I took with a group. I never did tell them … I should have.” Hearing her hoarse voice out loud she recognized it was raspy with emotion. “It’s been a whole year, hasn’t it Denise. We used to talk at night when we couldn’t sleep. Talk for hours about everything while the city groaned around us. You were so hopeful. Optimistic. We’d find a good place to build, someplace with running water and trees, a place with no one nearby. Just the four of us. That was the plan we hatched. Sometime after our first year working as mercenaries we came up here  with Ingrid and James  if I remember right.  Planned up where we’d start building and Ingrid wanted someplace away from the ruined buildings. Someplace up on the north side, right? Ya… We probably would have picked Sanctuary. How funny... ” 

Guilt added itself to her tightening chest, the scar burning on her shoulder as if it were fresh again. “You and me, we got out of that raider camp. You and me, we made it to the Commonwealth. We found James, Ingrid, and then old Will. You brought us all together.” The palm of her hand scrubbed at her tired eyes as emotions brought tears to the surface. “A whole year ago and I’m all that’s left. Will’s traps are still in place. You were right, you know, Denise. Age just means experience which might be why James went first. Youngest and all that. I hope the mutant choked on the poor boy’s bones.”

Laying back down, her body tired even as her heart ached for the friends that she had lost, Leana stared up at the tarp that protected her. “But Denise… I think I may have done it. I wish you were here to see, but I think I may have found someone I can stay with. You worried at the end that I’d be alone forever. I thought I would be as well but no. You were right again. You were always right. I just had to find someone willing to put up with my stubborn bullshit.” Chuckling weakly, Leana rolled over onto her side to consider lighting the lantern. “Not much oil left. I never did like sitting in the dark alone. Reminds me too much of that first night after our last job. The buildings sound like Ingrid in pain from the infection. Sounds of pain and agony. You were dead and we mourned you even as she was dying.” 

Something rustled in the only sheltered corner, breaking through her melancholy, and she was sitting up with the 10mm in hand. “Shit… Roach?” Holding her breath, eyes narrowed in a futile attempt to see something  in the lightless corner.  The rest of the world seemed to fall silent in anticipation,  anxiety climbing as no movement stirred the dust, no shift in the shadows, no sound except for the settling buildings but she held that pose for several long breaths.  _ No, it’s nothing. My imagination probably. That or maybe I’ve really lost it. I always knew it would be the solitude that got me. Dark and alone the mind plays tricks on you…  _

Slowly lowering the 10mm back to her side, Leana remained sitting up while listening for any sounds near her.  _ You hear about that all the time. Someone who went out on their own for too long. Went out to the waste without backup or company and they come back crazy. Too many rads, too quiet, too much stress. Maybe I’m going that way, too.  _ Pulling her knees up to her chest within the confines of her sleeping bag, Leana rest her chin on her knees and just listened to the world around her. 

_ A whole year on my own. Longer, I think. It’s hard to keep track of dates and hours when no one really gives a shit. Denise, Ingrid and I were all that was left of our band there at the end though, before winter last year. Was it last year? Shit, might actually have been more than that really. _

Pausing in her story long enough to shift her position so she could see out where a wall had been.  _ One last job, Denise had said. One last job to get us some more supplies and then we were going to head West. Ingrid had been from the West Virginia area and told some interesting stories. Denise and I from Washington with our own tales. The three of us figured why not go out West to make our own. And now here I am, sitting in the dark, on one last job before heading west to that Red Rocket.  _ _ To think our first plan had been to check out the area near there. We could have beat the Minutemen to Sanctuary! But then again… Going West sounds like a good plan too. Someplace new. _

Reaching into her pocket for a small, dented .50 bullet case, Leana ran her fingers over the scratches from all the time it had spent in her pocket.  _ If we had kept the ammo from the raider job the three of us would have made it. They would be here with me and we’d be out west somewhere. Just had to clear some ghouls out of the subway and we’d get paid in supplies then we were out.  _ Her brow furrowed as she traced the blasting cap of the bullet.  _ This had been Denise’s last round. Her gun had jammed, Ingrid was badly hurt, and all we had left was my shotgun but no shells left and I think my 10mm had a round or two. Not the best situation considering… _

Her eyes swam with tears as she remembered that last stand and her friend’s parting words.  _ “It’s just a few ghouls, I got it. You’re stronger so you can get her out of here.” That’s what Denise had said. I didn’t know her gun had jammed so I picked up Ingrid and started to carry her out of the subway. We were so close to the exit when the glowing ghoul had finally caught up. Denise must have seen it through her scope before the rest of us caught sight.  _

Hiding her face, Leana couldn’t help but continue telling herself the story. The buildings around her groaned louder as if they could hear the memories,  could feel the way her heart clenched and throat burned around the words . Their moans exalting in the tightness of her chest and throat. A whole city block celebrating her guilt-ridden agony. 

_ If I had known… If I had only known! She waited for my back to be turned and for me to be half up the stairs before she drew that damn knife. Ingrid saw the glow from over my shoulder and when she screamed out I turned to see Denise running right up to the damn ghoul. “Just go!” she shouted. I couldn’t move… We were so GREEN back then! I had no idea what a glowing ghoul could do to a person. What all that radiation could do to one already-sick human. _

Lifting her head again, her story paused as the first few pats of rain landed on her tarp. “Just like then … “ Sniffling before squirming deeper into the sleeping bag, her hoarse voice whispered the last of the story as a way to drown out the sounds of the buildings around her. A desperate attempt to break the suffocating silence  even if it did mean reliving the worst days of her already miserable life.

“I almost dropped Ingrid but we did it, we made it out of the subway. I threw her aside and gave her my 10mm. ‘I gotta go get her’ I said. Like I’m some damned hero. My shotgun was out of ammo but I brought it anyway. Soon as I opened the door back into the subway tunnel I saw the explosion of Rads. Denise had gotten the damn ghoul and killed it while Ingrid and I were safe.” 

Somehow, hearing the story out loud helped and her voice was stronger now though her heart felt like a lead weight at the bottom of her gut. “There she was, bleeding and weak, a glowing ghoul corpse laying on top of her, but Denise had won. Gotten them all. Took me a bit to drag her out of the pile. Took me too long. She’d soaked in too many rads. I could see the blisters starting on her face and neck, hands, the bloody nose and eyes. Fever was already kicking in and she was puking. Told me right there, I was too late. Never could understand why I made it out without my own radiation sickness. Just my luck I guess. I live so I can watch the two I loved the most die in the most painful way possible.”

Looking down at the bullet in her hand, though as dark as it was she could barely see it but her eyes knew each and every scratch. “All this time I had no idea why Denise held on for so long. Why she tried so hard to survive those days. The radiation had killed her but we just didn’t know it yet. Ingrid had the infection that was eating away at her leg from the inside out and there I was trying to help them both.” Pausing as the wind knocked over the lantern, her hand went toward the 10mm again. As heavy as the rain was becoming she’d never hear anything unless it was already on her and the wind wasn’t helping her nerves. “Damn this weather…”

Thinking back on that week and how hard the two other women had tried to survive Leana cringed. “I wonder if they struggled because I begged. Because I reminded them over and over again about our stupid plan. About the home we could have built. Safety and food and water. I bet that’s why she tried to hold on. Denise had hope. She had something to look toward that she wanted.”

Her words were drowned out by the now torrential rain, breath frosting in front of her from the temperature drop that matched the chill that had settled into her chest. “I never understood what you said Denise. I still don’t. Sorry I’m so dumb. I always figured it was just the fever that messed up your words.” Clenching the .50 caliber tight in her hand, Leana watched as the rain pelted the ground around her little tent. “Your last breath… You told me to never give up. That dawn would bring me hope.”

Looking toward the east wall Leana’s brow furrowed as she remembered something… “There’s… No way. Denise… I wonder if you were talking about him showing up in that damn Vertibird.” 

A sudden laugh ripped through her, the sound jarring and unnatural but comforting. “Damn you for always being right. His stupid ass showed up with the dawn in that damn Vertibird.”

The tent around her struggled under the heavy rain and the water started to slowly seep it’s way in toward her sleeping bag but Leana was too tired to really care. Her friend’s final moments replayed in her head but this time with more peace, with a sense of closure. Physically exhausted and emotionally drained after the re-telling, she rests her head on her knees to watch as the rain falls in sheets around her. “At least I can’t hear the damn buildings groan any more. Might not sleep but who needs sleep, right Denise? Just hunting ghouls. One more job before heading west.” Chuckling softly, her eyes drooping some. “Not as far as we planned. Still in the Commonwealth, too. But it’s a safe place with the workbench you promised me. Food… Water … Just missing your cooking.”

A wide yawn and her eyes finally drifted closed. “Don’t tell him I said it, but your cooking is way better.”


	2. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of little sleep our mercenary makes her way through Boston toward the subway entrance. Her thoughts are distracted by the distant and not so distant past. Perhaps the future holds more hope then she had expected?

Morning eventually arrived with Leana bearing noticeable bags under her eyes. The rain had indeed soaked into her make-shift tent and sleeping bag leaving her leather pants damp. At some point a boot had been knocked over and was soaked inside as well which she didn’t realize until she slid her foot inside. “Oh great. That’s wet… Fabulous.” Pulling the boot off again she dug through her bag until finding some cloth to wrap around her foot to ward off blisters. “I am uncomfortably damp. This is great.” Hoping the added sarcasm would guard her from any more unfortunate events, Leana laced her boots and stood to pull on the armor she had at least kept safe in the trunk.

Reinforced leather leg guards went over her thighs and calves with places for her holsters to clip onto. A vest was tightly laced onto her torso to hold breasts in place and act as a barrier so the boiled leather armor wouldn’t chafe the more delicate skin. Her usual thin tank tops weren’t much protection from coarse leather even if they were more comfortable. Additional reinforced pieces were buckled onto her forearms before finally adding the heavy belt that hung her weapons. Dagger on her left, shotgun down her right, and the 10mm pistol at her back. An old geiger counter sat on her left wrist but it’s sensors were not the most reliable so she also made sure to have the necessary radiation resistance pills handy.  To make it easier to swallow them in the middle of a fight Leana had rigged little pockets on the backs of her gloves. Each pocket held several of the Rad-X pills that she could pop into her mouth easily. After seeing many people fall ill to radiation she vowed to take every precaution possible to prevent that for herself.

“Alright. Geared up. Breakfast is more cold beans. Yum. I’ll eat that once I get this stuff packed away.” Talking to herself had always been a habit but after spending a week at Red Rocket with Deas and Dogmeat she felt a little sad that there was no one to reply to her.  After spending the last few years on her own it had been nice having someone else to talk to. Now,  even if she had been on the road for the last few weeks  alone again, she still missed their company. Mornings  like this  where everything was quiet and calm,  the remnants of the city as still as the air . Her voice broke through the silence though and that helped steady her nerves  though she worried a little about her sanity . “Just gotta … Finish up this. Yup. In Denise’s wise words, one more job then I can rest.  Maybe I can convince Deas to tell me more about before the bombs. Can’t count how many hours we spent trying to figure out just what some of these buildings were used for, or how things looked when the roads weren’t broken up and buried under rubble. Ingrid was always excited when we found pictures. ”

Thinking still of her friends made a twinge of guilt ripple through her again  as she started the process of dismantling the defenses. “It’s been ages and I haven’t really thought about them. Some friend I am. The only time I think about them is when I’m reminded of their deaths.” Carefully removing the bomb from the stairwell leading up to her camp, Leana was chatting with herself as she took down the  various traps. If anyone else was still alive that knew about the safe house she didn’t want them accidentally setting off a trap on their way up. As often as she set them up taking them down was simple, which meant her mind had time to roam. It was becoming a habit that she talked to herself as she worked, a reminder of when she had a team to talk to and share the chores with. Lonely mornings like this one she imagined one of them sitting at the top of the steps listening to her, hearing her news, nodding as she told some story of her exploits. Looking up to see the empty landing was painful but while she was working she couldn’t see just how alone she really was . 

“Meeting with Deas though… I wish he had been there that year. He would have left us ammo I’m sure. Just a few more shells and we would have made it. A couple more rounds for Ingrid’s revolver at least. Damn her obsession with that .44 thing. Piece of shit always needed repairs and we could never find it ammo.  But damn if her aim wasn’t sharp with it! Bloatflies at 50 yards exploded with the pistol barely leaving her holster. I guess finding her those old cowboy stories gave her the inspiration she needed, right?” 

Chuckling a bit at the memory, Leana sat back on her heels  while she had a hand full of trip wire, slowly winding the cord around the wheel. “I wonder what happened to that gun… I grabbed Denise’s rifle out of reflex but I don’t remember seeing Ingrid’s.”  Frowning a little as she collected the trap supplies to carry back into the campsite, she paused and actually looked upset. “I must have left it behind… Denise’s rifle I had to sell but that .44 would have been useful…”

The last of the explosive traps had been disabled leaving just the steps that drop down so Leana went back up to her camp. Mines were placed in their protective cases in the old trunk, her tent rolled up around her sleeping bag and attached to her travel pack, breakfast hastily eaten, and finally she was ready to leave.  Looking up at the sky before she climbed down the stairs, Leana sighed at how much time had been lost by her ruminations and precautions. “So late in the morning…” Hoisting her pack higher on her back she started down to the road, leaving a cleaned campsite behind.

Pausing at the bottom of the stairs to make sure nothing was waiting to ambush her, she nodded at the cleared area and pulled out the ragged map.  “Alright. From here, it’s north northeast along the beach. Nordhagen was pretty sure the ghouls were coming from the ruins near their little island bridge. My thought is the old subways up there could be where the monsters are hiding. I know of an old entrance on the beach that could be the one I need to look into.” Her frown deepened as she  looked at the map and one of the subway entrances with her friends’ names written nearby . “And one of them… I would like to avoid it if possible .” 

Folding the map back into its pocket then  scrubbing a hand over her face in the hopes of rubbing the tired out of her skin, she looked in the direction she needed to go. “Last night… I gotta stop going days without sleep. Memories get too real in the dark. When buildings sound like people you know you’ve been alone for too long.” 

A quick check that all her gear was ready and weapons securely clipped into place she started down the road. Being distracted while on the move was a bad idea and her self-preservation was high enough that her waking nightmare from before was pushed from her mind. Instead she focused on the various open buildings and destroyed cars that ghouls liked to hide under. Dark alleyways could be hiding raiders so she approached them cautiously.  _ I really hope the rumor about super mutants this close to the beach was exaggerated … I really really don’t want to face them.  _

An hour’s worth of walking brought her to the ocean side of Boston, the air heavily scented of dead things and  garbage. Her paranoia had proved wrong as well, since the usual gang of raiders had been cleared out already, leaving just the usual evidence behind. Finding people’s heads mounted on stakes was unnerving but seeing how old they were meant the gang had moved on a while ago, giving her some much needed peace.

Leaning for a moment on the railing with her binoculars out, Leana was able to get a decent view of where Nordhagen Beach’s entrance was. “So, that little strip of land leads right to where the settlement is. Pretty sure there’s a subway entrance less than an hour’s walk north of there. Probably check that out first since it’s closest to the settlement. Nothing good ever comes out of subways.” Pocketing the binoculars she glanced either way along the road. “Clear still… Maybe those rumors were wrong. Or the mutants moved on. If I’m really lucky then Deas and his armored fanatics took care of them for me.”  A little hopeful, she glanced up at the sky in case a silent vertibird could be seen. Knowing how much noise those things make Leana didn’t expect anything. 

“I wonder what he’s doing… Maybe giving orders to some initiates. I can see him trying to teach them how to mop.” Chuckling while she walked along the waterfront, her thoughts drifted over the rumors she had heard about him, and then about the Brotherhood. “I guess if they regularly hunt down super mutants this group can’t be THAT bad. Too bad they don’t clean up THAT mess though…”  Wrinkling her nose at the usual decorations used by the mutants would have left behind, Leana hitched up her pack and cringed. 

“Another hour and I can find a spot to rest. Probably find a good building to hide in while I watch the subway entrance. If that is where the ghouls are coming out of then I can just… I dunno. Toss a few mines down there, get their attention, and laugh as they all blow up.”

Chuckling now and then as she plans how best to lay the traps, the rest of her walk went by much quicker. Nothing jumped out at her either as she walked along the road and for that she was grateful. As tired as she was she truly hoped that the building she was planning to perch in was still standing. Walking in the sunlight with a heavy pack was more tiring than anticipated.

_ Best part about the Red Rocket is that soft bed… Ah but maybe the chance to bathe is the best part? Well, no I’ll be honest. Having someone to talk to is the best. Even if it was just Dogmeat. Anything is better then being alone in this city. _

Arriving at her desired hideout Leana did a full circuit around the building and the ones on either side to make sure they didn’t show any signs of collapsing on her. No ghouls crawled from under the ruined furniture and no roaches skittered out of all the rubbage. 

What she did notice though made her wary. Buses and destroyed vehicles had been dragged to block the alleys and piled up debris covered a few building entrances. Standing near the descending stairs to the subway she looked south of the road and realized that it wasn’t as straight to Nordhagen as she had thought.  Looking around at the way rubble had been moved around, her brow furrowed as the road she was expecting ghouls to use looked completely blocked off. The only open road went south toward somewhere else… Realization clicked as she caught sight of landmarks.  “Shit… That’s… the airport.” 

Digging her hand-drawn map out of a pocket of her bag she confirmed that the road went right down to the airport. “Explains the  whispers of roads being blocked off that weren’t before. Everyone assumed it was super mutants moving shit around. Please don’t be super mutants in the subway… I really really don’t want to fight them in close quarters.” 

Another glance in the direction of the airport where she could  just barely  see the Brotherhood of Steel’s construction and then back at the entrance to the subway, the concern on her face was etched deep. “I just need to find out… Super mutants or what. Someone is planning something and it can’t be good.” Replacing the map into her pocket she turned and went to inspect the buildings near the entrance of the subway. “Need to find a spot to camp. Get some proper sleep. Can’t go in there jittery and tired, paranoia’s gonna be bad enough as it is.”

The building was unlabeled and empty, signs of any previous habitation old and dusty but she was pretty sure they had been raiders. Hands on her hips as she inspected the bottom floor of the building there was a tingle of excitement as she noticed several items had been left behind. “There’s still a desk fan! And pencils, some cans… This is actually turning out pretty good for me. Probably not for the airport  if there -are- super mutants living this close to them  but at least I got something good out of it?” 

Looking at the state of the building itself, not just the useful items contained within, Leana was much less impressed.  Long ago a portion of the second story floor had collapsed along the back wall to make a ramp up. It was a tricky climb with the steep angle and soft  water-soaked  wood but the rest of the second floor looked stable. A set of stairs were still whole that made getting to the third floor easier at least,  though no telling if the floor itself was safe.

Making her way carefully up the stairs she discovered that the third floor was almost completely intact! No damaged walls, no holes in the floor overhead, and even a window that wasn’t broken! No furniture was left behind, no containers to search, but that also meant no where for enemies to hide. A small building with only the one room could prove useful for later but she had more to explore. 

Down the hall from the third floor landing was  another set of stairs for the 4th floor.  Being that high up meant she would have the perfect vantage point to keep watch for anyone or anything coming near her camp. A roof over her head, a solid floor, and the wind was low enough she could get a proper fire going. “Hot food, maybe even boil up some water, and I’ll be set. Might nap for a little before I start the ghoul hunting. Or I hope ghoul hunting… No sign of super mutants so I’m going to just fervently hope it’s ghouls.”

Confining the only room on the 4th floor was clear of enemies and pitfalls she set her travel pack next to an old metal desk. Feeling lighter, and hopeful, she pulled out a tightly folded duffle bag and made her way down to the first floor to see how much she could find that would be useful. The stairs going down were fairly secure though the ramp turned into more of a slide with how wet the mold-covered carpet had become.

Duffle bag set on a filthy counter, Leana started filling it with anything that looked useful.  “This must have been a store or something. Several old shelves and all sorts of useful junk!” Her duffle bag was almost half full by the time she was done with the bottom level.

Taking the first duffle bag back up to her temporary camp, Leana contentedly sat down  at the desk to sort through her new junk collection and do some preliminary breaking. Condensing the junk down to a smaller bag would make carrying it out of there a lot easier and she had even found a bottle of Nuka Cola Cherry to drink while she did it! Perched on an ancient office chair, the desk already next to what remains of a window facing the subway entrance, Leana was able to take things apart and keep an eye on whatever may happen across the street,  if anything was actually living there.

Excitement only lasted for so long, though, before she felt her head bobbing. The Nuka Cola’s caffeine carried her through most of her dismantling but sitting in the warm sun and being mostly safe made her sleepier still.  Storing the raw materials she had acquired into their respective containers then chucking the unwanted waste out the window cleaned off the desk. Deciding she was good to get some sleep, she stood and set to placing a few traps on the stairs leading up to where she was going to camp. 

Feeling safer, she unrolled her sleeping bag and then took a kitchen timer she had found, set it to an hour, and laid down for a nap. It wasn’t long before she was asleep, her hat over her face to block the sun. As deep as she slept her dreams made sure it wasn’t comfortable or restful.  Nightmares about running away from faceless horrors twisted by radiation only to end up in super mutant traps  meant when  the timer started to chime she woke with a stifled scream. Silencing her timer  before it could ring for too long she sat there  holding her breath to see if anything else heard the noises.

All quiet with no sign of monsters coming to get her she exhaled with relief that the noisy alarm didn’t attract any extra attention. Collecting up her sleeping bag and stowing it back with her travel pack, she double checked her armor and weapons.  _ Everything is ready to go. Just one more job, right Denise? Then I can rest. I can take my time and recover. Maybe even … Maybe even find a reason to settle down. Maybe that’s what I need to do. I’m running out of reasons to keep taking jobs.  _ _ The stash of caps I have hidden away will keep me supplied for years on my own. _ _ Most settlements would take me in a heartbeat since I can fix their machines. Hell, I bet even the brotherhood has room for me. How funny is that thought!  _ _ Though I don’t know if I want to put Deas in that position. Would they give him a hard time if they caught us together? Assuming he… would want that i mean … I do, that’s for sure… _

Lost in thought about her last few days at the Red Rocket, and hopes for future days, she sat at the cleaned off desk with her bag at her feet while absently staring down at the subway entrance. A quick shake of her head got her thoughts back in order and she focused on her next destination.

_ I don’t see any ghouls around here. None of the usual evidence outside either. Probably means I’m going to have to go through the subway tunnels. I hate going down there.  _ _ It’s always dark, quiet, and ghouls have way too many places to hide. Unless it’s super mutants and then I’m not sticking around... _

Descending the stairs and then taking a controlled slide down the ‘ramp’ Leana landed and stood crouched on the ground floor again. Nothing moved and there didn’t seem to be any sign of enemies so she resumed the careful walk toward the subway. Dread settled onto her shoulders making the pack feel heavier still and as she perched on the first step leading down into the darkness where the subway doors where. A cold pit opened in her stomach when she spotted how many footprints had shuffled through the debris and dirt. One of the double doors barely clinging to the hinges had smears left from whatever passed through. She hoped it was ghouls and not someone that had been injured looking for a place to hide.

_ This looks like a trap. It feels like a trap. Probably smells like a trap. Which reminds me, I gotta put my gas mask on. Ghouls smell bad enough as it is without the added reek of sickness and death.  _ Fussing with a side pocket of her pack she released the folded gas mask and slipped it onto her face. A few tugs of the straps made sure it sat flush to her skin, sealing any bad air out while adding to the almost suffocating sense of closeness that the tunnels gave off. Her peripheral vision suffered but at least she had some protection from infection that was common when fighting feral ghouls.

_ Might as well get this over with…  _ A final deep breath and she slipped past the hanging door and into the darkness beyond.


	3. Into the Subway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living the glamorous life of a mercenary often means delving into the darkest, dankest, most foul of locations. Often times this means wandering into the subway. One never knows what they'll find.

‘Dark’ wasn’t quite the word she used to describe the subway depths. There was an unnatural quality to the light that gave an eerie flickering glow to everything. Each of the ancient bulbs that managed to still work were at less than half power leaving long stretches of shadows between sections of ghostly illumination. It was where the lights didn’t work that felt the most unreal. Darkness was made solid by inconsistent lighting, a presence that could stifle your breath and weigh on your skin. Invisible cobwebs brush across the mind like a whisper reminding you of all the things that liked to hide in the deep dark places. From around unlit corners would come eerie sounds that echo down the tiled hallways, bouncing and distorting off cracked walls. 

Crouched down as low as she could in the doorway of the subway, Leana paused after the centuries old announcer reminded people not to hold the doors open.  _ Pretty sure no one cares about your schedule any more.  _ Her ears strained to make sure no other sounds could be heard after the announcer’s voice faded away before proceeding through the remains of the lobby.  _ This gas mask … I forgot how stifling it is. Even my hearing is filtered and fuzzy. _

Evidence of  several somethings passing through the entrance could be seen in the dirt and detritus.  Shuffling marks and uneven gaits paired with something dark smeared along the stone walls . Every hair stood up on her neck as she came close enough to find out it was indeed blood on the walls at about shoulder height. A gloved finger scraped away the dried smudge and assumed it was at least a few days old if not older. Looking down the hallway toward the stairs she saw more of it along the walls.  _ It’s as if someone dragged something large and bloody down the hall. Big enough it smeared the walls or maybe … More than one thing was carried through here? That or someone intentionally bled all over the place. Makes me glad I put the mask on, whatever or whoever is down here has to reek by now. Unless any remains were eaten.  _ A shudder coursed down her spine at that thought followed by a fervent hope she wasn’t coming across a super mutant hide-out.

Drawing out her dagger as she worked her way down the dimly lit passage, her eyes followed the smudges on the wall trying to determine what had caused them. Several places looked almost like hand prints, or maybe hands that had smeared the blood when it was fresh. Pausing to inspect what she assumed was a handprint she felt chills crawl across her skin. _This is … Weird. I’ve never seen something like this before. Not even super mutants and they usually have corpses strung up all over. Sacks of meat and gore hanging from the ceiling… No, this is something else. This is like … I mean it almost reminds me of -bait- being left out for a -trap- and I do NOT like this._ Another shudder and she moved on down the hall, her grip on the dagger tighter.

Finally arriving at the top of the stairs that lead down to the platforms she paused, eyes wide as she saw the remains of a Radstag strapped to a pillar.  In the harsh light she saw that  mostly just bones were left along with a pile of dark gore at the bottom that had been smeared around. Leana hoped it was just feral ghouls that had left the mess but someone else had to have strung up the heavy corpse.  _ Someone left this to distract ferals. Or bait them. Blood down the walls to pull them in … This trap won’t work for super mutants and the footprints aren’t big enough. Has to be feral ghouls. But WHY... _

Ducking back around so she could lean against the wall, her hair stood on end as she strained her ears. Trying to hear anything over her heartbeat was going to be difficult. Her mouth went dry as fear settled like a bowling ball in her belly and her mind raced to figure out what she had found. _If there’s ferals down there, they’re not making noise. Sleeping? Dead? Something's very wrong here. Everything screams that this is wrong. Do I get out of here? Do I investigate further?_ Struggling to breathe behind the gas mask, the tile wall unforgiving and cold against her back, Leana glanced back down the stairs where she assumed the ferals were then down the hall to her nearest exit.

_ I can’t just … I can’t just -go-. If I can make sure it is just a bunch of ghouls then sure, I get some backup and more explosions and we’re good. If it’s super mutants then I haul ass to the Brotherhood and let THEM deal with those things.  _ Mostly resolved she adjusted her mask before drawing the dagger back out.  _ Right. Just a little further down. Just enough to see what’s going on.  _ _ I can’t handle whatever this is on my own so definitely no heroics. Heroics don’t pay well and being dead doesn’t sound like much fun. _

Carefully making her way down the stairs with her dagger at the ready, Leana held her breath behind the mask.  _ I am almost scared to see how many ferals might be down here.That stag is mostly bone so there’s enough to strip it down. Not a lot of waste either it seems.  _

One hand on the wall she reached the halfway point of the stairs and paused to get a better look into the room. The higher vantage point showed a pile of discarded bones, mostly beast but it was hard to tell, tossed into a corner. _ If I didn’t know any better I’d say someone was feeding ferals.  _ The idea of someone keeping feral ghouls like pets was terrifying. Mindless from the radiation damage the feral ghouls were reduced to basic instincts and bottomless pits. Any large group of them could spell destruction for a settlement let alone one person on their own. 

_ How many merchants had been lost to the ferals and their insatiable hunger? I’ve never heard of more than ten ferals on the road but I’ve definitely heard stories of buildings full of the monsters. Locked in because they forgot how to open doors, their bodies sustained by radiation even though it makes them insane. If someone’s herding them down here and feeding them? They have to have a plan. A use for them, if that’s what is actually going on. _ _ I can’t think of why else all this would be in place though...  _

Continuing her way down each step toward the old subway platform was taken carefully, agonizingly slow with Leana’s every sense straining in fear that the ghouls were just waiting for her. The gas mask she relied on so heavily proved to be detrimental in this, though, as it partially covered her ears and took from her peripheral vision. Paranoia filled in the gaps of her sight and supplied noises that were probably not even real.

Nearly at the bottom  she swore there were footsteps behind her, a shadow that moved against the wall. Muscles tensed as she watched what little of the stair top she could see under the sloping ceiling but nothing presented itself. No movement. No more sounds.  _ Shit… Been in the dark too long. I’m going as mad as these ferals. Chill, Leana. There’s no one behind you. You’re just paranoid because shit’s gettin’ weird. _

The bottom of the stairs opened onto the platform that proved to be as empty as she had hoped except for the  pile of bones in one corner and two closed doors at either end of the platform. Across the subway tracks was a barrier someone had built out of eroded cement barriers, rusty wire fence, and scavenged wooden boards keeping whatever was on the other side out of sight. That struck her as odd but the construction looked old.  _ People did actually live down here once. Might be left overs. There’s not really… ferals on the other side, right? _

Holding position at the base of the stairs, Leana glanced toward the far end of the subway tunnel to see both directions. Nothing but darkness greeted her for either end, the oppressive emptiness was like a wall of void that devoured her weak flashlight beam. A single ceiling light struggled to shed illumination over the platform, fading slowly in and out in a semblance of labored breathing. The effect reminded her of the dying groans from the buildings above. Smaller lights clung desperately to the walls showing where the pillars used to be that were now the anchor points for the barrier. 

Inching slowly toward the edge of the platform, standing where thousands once stood waiting for their transportation to arrive. Over two hundred years have passed since people rode the subway and Leana marveled at how things have changed. Looking down both ends of the tunnel she saw nothing but impenetrable darkness where the tracks disappeared under the collapsed roof.  _ No way to get through there. So my only exit is back the way I came. Unless there’s more on the other side of that barrier... _

Curious now and less worried about ghouls after how quiet everything had been Leana stowed her flashlight and dagger to free up her hands. Maneuvering over the rusted subway tracks and climbing up onto the platform she was able to see through a crack between the ancient boards.  She wasn’t sure what to expect, a long forgotten settlement with a few skeletons left behind as evidence of long-dead survivors. If there were any ghouls there were probably no more than twenty since it was extremely rare to see large groups in one place.  What she was not expecting was the sheer number of the mindless creatures loitering just on the other side of that old barrier from her. 

_ There has to be several hundred of the fuckers. No way do I have enough grenades for that! And they’re just standing there… What the shit?!  _ Fear like she hadn’t felt before crawled down her spine and settled in the pit of her stomach as she backed away. Leana’s breathing struggled behind the gas mask , suffocating her under the weight of the sheer amount of monsters on the other side of that wall. 

_ Alright, Think. A shit ton of feral ghouls have been corralled into a subway tunnel. If I can drop it I’m a fuckin’ hero and might never have to work again. If I can figure out who’s doing this then I can stop them, too. Right. Heroic. Cuz that’s not a stupid idea. _ _ Heroes always live to see the end of the story, right? FUCK this is insane…  _

Backpedaling hastily away from the barricade she nearly slid off the platform onto the tracks below. Catching herself and forcing herself to calm down enough to not trip Leana made it back toward her exit without causing too much noise.  Climbing onto the landing and walking over to the bottom of the platform’s stairs, her arms wrapped around her torso in an attempt to hold in the rising panic. 

As her foot touched the first stair she heard a definite -click- of heavy doors shutting at the top. What little light she had from upstairs disappeared along with her chances of survival as the latch was locked. Dread settled on her shoulders like lead weights as the rattle of chains from the other side of the door echoed down the stairwell. Time stopped as darkness engulfed her, heavy and cold, the air as still as death. Her eyes never left the black hole that had once been a stairwell as realization sunk in.  _ HOLY SHIT SOMEONE JUST LOCKED ME IN HERE?! There was someone behind me this whole time?! FUCK! _

Panic hit her gut like a brick, heavy and unreasonable as it stole her breath away. Enveloped in the lightless underground she stumbled into a corner as far away from all the ghouls as she could, breath coming in tiny gasps as the gasmask smothered her. Struggling with the straps, never mind the smell of feral ghouls and rotting corpses, she needed air! Tight steel bands were wrapping around her lungs, her thoughts a jumbled whirl of fear and incoherent ramblings as she struggled to regain some level of control. Unable to get the mask off she wrapped her arms around her chest, shrinking into the smallest ball she could. 

Cowering in her corner it was probably a good ten minutes before she managed to calm her breathing and thoughts. Every inch of her ached from tense muscles and shivering.  _ Bad… this is so bad. I need a way out. If they chained those doors then I’m stuck. Blowing them could drop the ceiling or worse, rattle that barrier down and then I’m really stuck with all these ferals. The noise alone would piss them off, excite them. That barrier won’t last long against how many ghouls are over there. I don’t want to be eaten! I don’t want to die! Not here. Not like this! _

Another wave of panic, her stomach flipping as tears began sliding down her cheeks soaking the inside of her gas mask.  _ Oh shit oh shit… What do I do? I gotta think. I need a plan. I can’t die here. I gotta get out! I gotta think of something! _

Pulling her pack around to rest in her lap she started to go through her supplies to see what she had.  _ Why do I not carry a fuckin’ crowbar… That’s what I want to know. Crowbars, man. I’m adding one somewhere to my pack so I can get doors off their hinges.  _

Her padded box of three frag mines was set aside, a second box with only five grenades set next to it and finally she pulled her kit with chems and medicines in it.  _ Still not good. Two stimpaks, one and a half Med-x, three Jet, a handful of Rad-X pellets, and just the one Psycho … Never thought I’d be in a position where drugs were going to be how I saved myself. Irene never approved but I like backup plans. Now is a really good time for backup plans… Or any plan for that matter... _

Leaning back against the wall again, her gaze fell to the rickety barrier that was the only thing between her and all the feral ghouls.  _ If they got over there and someone’s trying to hide them, there has to be a way out for the ghouls. Why else would you collect so many except to unleash them on the Commonwealth? Not as pets, that’s for damn sure. Not very cuddly.  _

That thought struck her and she remembered the buses that had been blocking the roads, alleyways covered so that there was really just the one path.  _ Herd them toward the brotherhood I bet…  _ Her map was pulled free from a pocket and unfolded so she could trace the most likely path with a finger.  _ Ya, this would get them down the beach and right across the shallow water into the brotherhood’s ass. There’s not as many guards on that side of the airport. Nothing comes that way except maybe a few mirelurks. Water isn’t the most friendly, with all the radiation. But that’s never stopped ferals before. _

Tapping the airport with her fingertip, a scowl crossing her face, Leana looked up at the barrier again.  _ I can’t believe I’m trying to save these assholes. So far I can only name one I’d like to keep around.  _ Map folded back up and returned to her pocket, her attention left the barrier and returned to the doors on either end of her platform. 

_ Has to be a way over there. That barrier was built on their side, so someone had to have found a way to get the ghouls over there and distract them long enough to get out again. If I remember the last few subways I’ve been in, the doors on the sides usually link up to the opposite side of the platform. Maintenance tunnels and all that. If they’re locked I can probably pick it, if they’re not locked then that tells me the ghouls are too dumb to open doors. I like dumb ghouls… If they’re hungry and old enough they’re the best because they can’t really see anything and too stupid to find you once you drop out of sight. _

Carefully packing her things back up she moved closer to the barrier to see what she could through the holes. With the beginnings of a plan she just needed more information and the first step of that is getting a better idea of what she’s working against. Careful not to get their attention she pressed her face against the rotted wood and tried to see what was on their side. 

Moving around and getting different vantage points, Leana was able to see that beyond the barrier was more than just the horde of nightmarish monsters. Angling enough to look up she was able to see that crossing over the sea of ferals was a rickety rope bridge suspended from ventilation ducts. One end of the bridge reached another flimsy wall with weak sunlight trying to stream through. Dirt and rocks were piled up as far as she could see, evidence that the roof of the tunnel had been dropped and probably made into a ramp. Leading to the ‘exit’ was a walkway hanging from the ceiling that looks about as stable as an irradiated rope bridge could be but it did drop over the other side of the far wall. 

_ A way out… Holy shit though…  _ Her eyes followed the walkway that someone had created and gulped.  _ That’s … Oh man that’s a bad idea. Probably my only option though. The ghoul’s side door out of the platform is bricked up so I’m not getting out that way.  _

Leaning back from the peep hole, Leana stood with her arms across her stomach as if to hold the last few meals in place.  _ If I’m quiet. If I’m careful I can make it. Looks like whatever is behind that wall leads right out. Probably mostly dirt. I bet it’s not braced or anything so it’s going to be slippery, rocks rattling around… That’s going to get their attention. _

Pacing back and forth back near the stairs she had come down originally, she looked around her side of the platform for clues and stopped dead in her tracks. How she had missed it before was a mystery but painted in what she hoped was more radstag blood was a raider gang’s mark.  _ Of course. Raiders. I don’t know that mark though… someone new to the area?  _ Coming closer to the mark she traced what looked like a fanged and horned beast skull painted in blood.  _ At least I know the Who now. I got the What, Who, Where, and I’m thinking the When isn’t far off either.  _ Looking over a shoulder toward the wall separating the platforms, her brow furrowed behind the gas mask.  _ I can’t let raiders set this many ghouls loose on the Commonwealth. Even if they are aiming for the Brotherhood… If I can make it across that rickety ass bridge and get to that weak barrier I can try to slip through and get help.  _

Determination overwhelmed the terror that was coursing through her veins as Leana worked on unlocking the door leading to the maintenance tunnel that should meet up with the ghoul-side.  _ This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. If I get this done, if I survive this shit, then I am never taking another ghoul hunting job. Shit, I think I’ll stick with repairing machines. There’s less chance of me being locked in a fucking subway with an army of monsters.  _ Distracted as she was, several of her bobby pins broke before she was finally able to unlock the door. 

_ Go figure, that’s hard to do when your hands are shaking.  _ Sitting back on her heels as she listened for any of the ghouls that may have heard her, the blood in her veins was ice cold with fear. Holding her breath until she was sure the ferals hadn’t noticed anything she eased open the door to look inside. 

The maintenance hallway had a rusty metal shelf holding a few empty beer bottles, a single can of something without a wrapper, and one lone light that flickered to dim life.  _ Storage. But there’s another door at the end of this. I bet that goes to the other side of the collapsed dirt and connects to the ghoul’s side maintenance tunnel. _

Checking for traps, Leana eased her way into the hallway and closed the door quietly behind her. Walking down the hallway felt surreal with only one weak lamp that barely lit the space but she was reluctant to turn on her flashlight again this close to the ferals. Reaching the door at the end she tested it and found the knob unlocked.  _ Well that’s nice. And I don’t see any wires or springs so probably not trapped.  _

Her back to the wall next to the door she threw it open and waited for an explosion or gunshot.  _ Well well. It wasn’t trapped at all. Nice. Here’s hoping the other side is just as lax in security.  _

Peering through the doorway Leana was greeted by darkness. A lightless expanse that felt both massive and claustrophobic all at once.  _ The rest of the tunnel must be clear. It feels open but like shit if I can see anything. I don’t hear anything either. All this darkness, I could be blind and never know…  _ Unnerved and paranoid that ghouls or worse were waiting just out of arm’s reach, Leana reached the other side and found the door to be unlocked. Removing her gloves she felt along the door jam and confirmed no wires or spring traps installed. It opened just as quietly as the others, for which she was eternally grateful, and inside was a mirror of the other hallway.

_ Another shelf with a couple cans, bottles, looks like a few spent casings and pipe pistol but not much else. And just like the other side there’s a door at the end. That one I can see a bar across on this side. Security in case the ghouls got riled up maybe? Or just in case they caught a few smart enough to open doors.  _

Hitching her backup higher on her back, stalling a little to adjust her gas mask and gloves, Leana felt another wave of panic building under her skin. Heartbeat drumming in her ears, so loud compared to the eternal silence that smothered her, she wondered if the ghouls could hear it, too.  _ Gotta calm down. Keep a clear head. This is no time to panic. I got this. It’s just a lock, a bar, and then a little bridge. I’ve definitely done worse things. _

Swallowing the mouthful of fear that dried up all the way to her lungs, Leana made her way slowly toward the door at the end. This hallway had no light but she could see the weak dingy glow from the other side as it illuminated the porthole in the door. Clicking on her flashlight to the lowest setting she held that under her chin while her fingers clumsily worked the lock.  _ Like it’s my first lock all over again. Chill Leana! This isn’t that bad. Really. I mean, I’ve made it out of way worse, right? There was the camp full of raiders for starters. Just me and Denise, one shotgun and a dagger. We killed quite a few of them before making a run for it. If I can escape that fucking disaster then this one’s a snack cake. Easy. Right? Right. _

The lock clicked as she got it unlocked, the sound echoing through the empty pit of her gut.  _ Right… Just … Open the door.  _


	4. Sometimes the Best Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sneaking past a horde of mutated ghouls definitely can't go wrong?
> 
> Right?

Every inch of her skin felt too tight, her nerves on edge and breath coming in tiny gasps but she slowly cracked open the door. Dim lighting coming from the far side of the area struggled through the horde of bodies. Only a few were near the door, a few steps away from the ladder she needed, while the rest of the ferals faced toward the far end of the tunnel where the sunlight was. So many were packed into the room that they just stood there, absently swaying but perfectly silent. A sea of irradiated monsters facing the only source of light with their expressionless faces.

_ That’s … Terrifying. Are they waiting for something? Or just looking at the brightest thing? Maybe they’ve been here for so long that they’ve forgotten about the rest of the world? Maybe they won’t hear me. They all seem so focused on looking at the light, I can probably sneak through without them noticing me. I just need three steps to the ladder. Climb up seven rungs. They’ll never know I was here. Just another shadow, right? It’ll be like breaking into the Minutemen castle. No sound, no sudden movements, and I’m through. No one needs to even know I was here. Especially not the creepy ghouls staring at nothing... _

Leana opened the door just enough that she could slip through the last barrier between her and them, creeping into the room with every nerve ending on fire, her ears straining for any indication that they heard her. It felt like a lifetime but eventually the door was eased closed without a sound behind her. Three agonizingly slow steps were taken, eyes straining behind the mask to make sure she didn’t step on something, before she was able to reach out to the ladder and test to make sure it would hold her weight. It seemed fine and sturdy enough, for a makeshift rope ladder anyway. 

Gloved hands followed the rope sides down to the ground to make sure they were secured and to make sure she wouldn’t be swinging helplessly while climbing. Sure enough, whoever had made the rickety bridge made sure the base of the ladder was secured to the ground. Climbing would be much easier, much quieter, so she started her way up those seven rungs. Careful and slow, her heart hammering behind her ribs so loudly she was sure the ferals would hear, Leana eventually made it to the small wooden platform attached to the wall and ceiling. 

Ropes creaked a little, the chains suspending the landing groaned as her weight was added, but none of the ghouls seemed to care enough to investigate. Crouched on the landing, both to prevent from bumping her head and to get a better view, Leana followed the rope bridge with her eyes. Primarily made of rope and some chain lengths, the construction was just one bottom rope to stand on and a guide rope strung between landings to offer support and balance. A few planks had been added to the bottom part but over-all this would be a very slow, uneasy trek.

_ This is really insane… This is just … Beyond insane. Whoever came up with this idea originally is a dumbass. One wrong step, one slip, and you’re ghoul food!  _ Shaking her head slowly, she focused instead on the supports holding her escape path up.  _ Looks secure at least. They have chains looped around those vents, so maybe every four steps I’ll have another support. It shouldn’t sag too low, either.  _

Trying to judge how low she’d sink as she inched across, Leana assumed she’d be about two feet over the feral ghouls within grabbing range and too close for her comfort.  _ Not like I have other options though. Just gotta get across this bridge, over that wall, and up whatever ramp is on the other side. Easy. Focus on each step. Ignore everything else. You start to think about how you can fuck up and you’ll fuck up. One step. Hand over hand. If I go slow and careful I can make it. _

Her first few steps onto the bridge set everything swaying, the rope under her feet twisting to nearly send her backward, and her heart leapt into her throat even as she clung desperately to the guide rope.  _ Holy shit this is such a bad idea… I’ll be in arm’s reach the whole way. All these fuckers have to do is look up and they’d see me.  _ Her breathing became labored and she struggled to keep quiet, retreating back to the landing and the assumed safety. Hands gripping the chains that held the landing up as if clinging to her last bit of sanity, she swallowed down her terror again.  _ Can I do this? Maybe I just need to … Just need to find another way.  _

Stalling to catch her breath and beat down the rising panic, she followed the bridge again with her eyes and saw that she didn’t really have any other option. Everything else in the room had been bricked or boarded up. Trying to blow open the door she came from would definitely excite the ghouls until they rushed the wall and knocked it down to get to her. Or she’d drop the ceiling. Or the whole thing would collapse on her. Her only means of leverage to pry the door open would be her shotgun which could destroy her best form of self defense. 

Looking back toward the subway platform she had left behind and the chained door that beckoned, she exhaled slowly through the gas mask she wore.  _ This is it. This is my best option. I just have to stick with this, follow the bridge nice and slow… easy, right? I’ve done worse.  _ Less panicked this time, she scanned the room one last time before she started across the treacherous bridge.  _ There’s more than 100 ferals here. This high up I bet I could see all down the subway tunnel to where the roof collapsed back there. Too bad I don’t have enough light. There’s easily enough of these things to swarm the brotherhood, mini guns and laser guns aside. If they got out and into the Commonwealth? There’d be no stopping them…  _

_ If there’s even more further down the tunnel that I can’t see? We’d be fucked. Brotherhood might survive for a little while, until the ghouls got bored or distracted. But any settlement nearby? Fucked. Royally fucked. I gotta get out of here. Even if it’s just to warn the BoS assholes of what’s coming. I hate them but the Commonwealth needs them to deal with this. _

A slightly better peptalk was all she needed as she started to slowly creep along the walkway again. Leana held onto the ventilation pipe that the bridge was hanging from with one hand while the other clung to the single guide rope. Moving carefully, lifting one foot just enough to take a step along the rope and sometimes stepping down onto a single plank attached lengthwise to the rope, her every effort was made to keep from swinging. Having just the braided rope to walk along meant moving quickly sent the structure twisting and weaving. The guide rope at about waist height was really only good at making sure she had something to hold onto for balance but the real stability came from using the pipe overhead. It was slow going and every creak of the wood or rope set her already racing heart thudding along faster but at least this looked like to would work.

Perhaps a good six feet out from her secure landing the pipe she was holding onto creaked loudly as if straining under the weight. A few pieces of plaster rained down onto the ghouls beneath her to get their attention. Another little creak, a little more plaster, and the bridge behind her drooped a few inches closer to the vacant faces looking up curiously. She could see their empty expressions turn toward the source of falling plaster. 

Unblinking colorless eyes focused on the pipe above her but the light was dim enough they either didn’t see her or couldn’t see her well enough to make out the human-shaped meal within arm’s reach. The ones closest to the falling plaster stirred, shuffling and moving toward the noise. Emaciated hands reached up as if to catch the next patch of ceiling to fall, clawed fingertips almost touching the rope.

Inching faster along the bridge, trying to get distance between her and the now drooping section of pipe, her thoughts were filled with obscenities and pleading with whatever god might still exist. More of the pipe groaned as the bridge lowered further, the sounds of straining metal discordant with the feral growls. Throats long unused croaked as a few of them were able to grab onto the lengths of rope, tugging and pulling curiously. 

Pipes cried out in protest as the monsters began fighting over the bits of bridge rope, supports popping out of the ceiling in the tug of war dropping several feet of bridge down into the swarming ghouls. Excitement urged the ghouls to gather closer, fighting started over who got to pull the rope, their growls and hoarse screams only becoming louder. Grabby hands reached for her hurriedly shuffling feet as she struggled to get distance between her and them, the sound of her frantic panting buried under their hungry cries. The mindless creatures swarmed the section of bridge that had fallen, excited by the noise and prospect of a meal. Groaning and growling issued from the masses beneath her feet while the monsters struggled to grab onto the broken pieces of her escape, inadvertently pulling more and more down as an entire section of ventilation pine crashed down.

Breath caught in her throat, tears streaming behind the gas mask as fear completely overpowered her senses, Leana finally reached the end of the bridge just in time to scramble madly over the top of the flimsy wall. Nothing but old rotten boards separated her from the horde of ghouls that tore at the fallen bridge, their furious howls filled with frustration when they found nothing but the bridge’s rotting wood and rope. Panic and her previous meals fought for dominance in her throat as she began to quietly climb up the dirt ramp on her hands and knees. With heart hammering behind constricting ribs, feet slipping on the sharp incline, it was everything she could do to move silently. Gravel and debris fell away behind her as she struggled up the mound to clatter against the wooden wall at the bottom, each time sending her deeper into panic. 

Reaching the top of the ramp finally the sunlight beckoned and she had never been so grateful to see the gold light filtered through radiation-filled clouds before. Tearing her gas mask off her face to finally draw in a full breath, protective gear thrown aside absently as she dropped to her hands and knees. A few small breathes, her lungs tight from panic, there was a tiny moment where Leana thought she was safe. 

That moment didn’t last long. 

Scrambling to her feet she turned to look down into the collapsed tunnel in time to watch the ghouls topple the flimsy wall, their clawed hands pulling and digging through the barrier. Rotted and irradiated faces flinched back from the sun, boney hands raised to ward off the brightness while the ghouls in the back trampled over the front ones. The trickle of a few became a flood of many as the monsters gained their freedom and picked up on her scent. 

“SHIT!” Panic stole what breath she had as the expletive left her lips and the ghouls turned to look in her direction. Faces full of leathery skin and empty eyes split wide into hungry mouths gaping as they screamed and howled. Her hands shook but she managed to pull free the old case holding her collection of hand-made mines from the side of her backpack. Fumbling with the latch as she backpedaled away from the ramp Leana was able to grab one of her mines. Practiced motions set the sensor and she flicked it into the tunnel in front of the horde of starved ghouls before turning and running, clutching the closed case to her chest.

“Please blow please blow please blow!” Running full tilt, her pack slamming into her spine with every frantic step, she nearly slid on an ancient newspaper as she raced down the street looking for a way into an alley or building. Her heart sat in her throat as the ghouls roared after her, their ungainly limbs crumpling as they tried to make their way out of the tunnel. It was clear they had not yet gained full mobility as she heard them slam into walls and the street, barreling over each other in their rush to capture her. The mine, however, never went off. Her first hope at diminishing their numbers failed which meant she still had the full horde of monsters streaming behind her and blocked alleyways ahead of her. Desperation set in as she zigzagged down the street, frantically searching for some sort of cover or escape.

Struggling to not trip on debris while knocking trash cans over to trip up the horde racing behind her, Leana was struggling to breathe as she tried to put some distance between herself and the monsters. Old as it was the Geiger counter on her wrist was starting to tick, counting the rads as if it was counting the ghouls themselves. Every tick from the device seemed more and more frantic as they got closer to her. The biggest advantage she had on them was that her body wasn’t as starved or radiated, yet, and she pushed herself to run faster. 

Leana wanted to get off the main road and break their line of sight but the alleys were blocked by trash and vehicles. The raiders, she assumed it had been done by raiders at least, had planned their trap well. Swinging around to crouch in front of a van that had been flipped to its side gave her time to think. Not too much time though since the ghouls were in a frenzy to find her. Pausing too long to look for a way over the barriers, heartbeat thudding in her ears Leana never heard the heavier footprints slapping the ground behind her as a ghoul dove to tackle the frightened woman. 

Screaming as she rolled onto her back Leana kept the hungry maw away from her neck with one hand at the ghoul’s collarbone. Her other hand grabbed for the 10mm at her back as she leveraged her weight to flip her opponent over. Straddling the struggling ghoul’s emaciated form her pistol was brought up and pressed into the feral’s forehead before pulling the trigger. Gore splattered all over the road behind her attacker and as she pushed away from the corpse she saw the gap between a blockade and the alley wall. “Got a way out!”

Leana scrambled to her feet and raced toward the gap as more of the monsters were attracted to the gunshot’s noise. Clambering over the bits of debris, her backpack getting caught a few times, she managed to make it into the alley and was grateful to see the other end unblocked. Her steps echoed off the brick walls as she raced around the corner and down behind the building, thankful that the windows and doors were boarded up. 

The moans and growls of the feral ghouls could still be heard over the sound of their attempts to tear down the debris blocking the alley. Kneeling in the alley trying to make as little noise as possible, Leana focused on getting air into her lungs and a plan in place to escape. One gunshot called in so many ghouls that were now clawing at the debris blocking them from getting to her hiding place, but that gave her an idea. 

_ If I can get my last two mines placed just right I can take out a good chunk of this swarm. Buy me some time while they … Just need to get them distracted. Have them hunting for me in one direction while I make a break for it down another. _ The plan felt solid and gave her hope. Putting it into place gave her something else to focus on.

Crouched and moving quickly, Leana picked up a few tin cans to toss in the opposite direction, she ducked around to bunker into a boarded up doorway. The cans she had picked up were set aside for the moment while she got the container with her mines handy. Listening for the ghouls it sounded like they were losing interest, or forgot where they had last heard her. Holding her breath and straining her ears it definitely sounded like they were dispersing, beginning to wander.

_ I can’t let them get too far away. There’s so many… I have to take out at least a few of them before I leave and if I make a big enough explosion the Brotherhood might see and come investigate.  _ Picking up her cans she threw them into the alley to clatter around and draw the ghoul’s attention again. Renewing their frenzy brought the stragglers back, the horde re-forming as they struggled with the barricade.

Priming one of her last mines and placing it on the wall of the building, she watched as the stream of feral ghouls clambered over the garbage that had been slowing them down before.  _ Oh shit.. are they through that already?! I was sure it would take them longer…  _

  
Leana watched as a handful of feral ghouls spilled over the trash heap to land in the alley with more screaming behind the detritus.  _ They must have just climbed over each other. Hoooly Shit there’s so many of them!  _ Running back down the alley she had been hiding in she hoped dearly that the mine placed on the wall would trigger when the ghouls followed behind her. 


	5. Go Off in Your Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear and Desperation are often a bad combination. Adding to that Pain, copious amounts of drugs, and an unhealthy dose of explosives is definitely cause for concern.
> 
> But sometimes there's nowhere else to go.
> 
> Sometimes you just want to have a little control over the outcome.

Escaping out the back end of the alley, racing ahead of the ghouls flooding over the debris wall behind her, Leana prayed to whatever God might be left after the bombs that the ghouls set off her mine. She only had one left and needed to thin the herd behind her.

Not bothering with trying to move quietly and focusing on speed Leana sprinted across the street, passing in front of where the ramp surfaced. A glance down toward where she had originally escaped from she could see the traitor mine, that first dud, and figured she had a second in the alley behind her. Nothing had exploded yet and she could hear the slapping feet of ghouls behind her.  _ Maybe the sensors were bad… I’ve never had three duds at once before! Fuck! _

Instead of stopping to grab her first dud she made her way to a cracked-open door across the street and slammed her hip into it to open. Colliding with the door it barely budged though she could feel the start of a massive bruise growing on her side from the impact. Panic setin again as she realized her idea to hide was being thwarted by a swollen door.  _ Open up come on!  _ Throwing her shoulder into it and pushing with all her weight, cursing all the while as reality started to sink in. A glance over her shoulder proved that ghouls were now racing across the road behind her, the second mine ignoring them though debris helped slow them down.

One more valiant push on the door and it gave way suddenly, Swinging open and dumping Leana hard on her right side. A sharp stab of pain arced from her right elbow all the way to her wrist and shoulder but there wasn’t time to inspect for damage. Kicking at the door to try and close it again failed and the first ghoul charged in after her. There was just enough time to pull out her dagger before the ghoul fell on her, Geiger counter raced with her heartbeat as clawed hands reached out to rip her down to bite size pieces. Panic-fueld blade slid smoothly into the empty eye socket snapping the brittle neck from the sudden jerk. Throwing aside the feral’s body, Leana had enough time to roll back onto her feet and scamper around the ancient counter that was between her and the open back door.

Waiting for her on the other side of the counter, or at least that’s what it felt like, was a sluggish moving emaciated ghoul. More like a skeleton with dried skin barely clinging to it, the feral was only just on it’s knees reaching a spindly arm out when she severed the neck with her dagger. It felt like breaking kindling more than cutting bone but that was one less monster she had to worry about. Her steps staggered a little as she jumped over it, barely dodging the new ghouls that were hot on her heels now. 

Out the back doorway and diving to the side, Leana grabbed for trash cans and loose crates to throw in their path but ghouls are dumb and tenacious. Charging into the obstacles, tripping and falling over each other with reckless abandon, the closest one reached claw-looking hands out grabbing at her backpack.Their grabby hands pulled her down with them, Leana’s foot slipping in an attempt to escape their grasp and ended up slamming down onto one of the trash cans. 

Her breath burst from her bruised lungs, her head colliding with the ground and the ghoul’s foul smell replaced the oxygen Leana so desperately needed. Boney hands raked at her arms and legs as she grabbed for the 10mm at her back, vision swimming as her heartbeat drummed in her ears. Kicking free of them she managed to turn around and fire several rounds into the gaping mouths opened wide in anticipation for their meal. 

Bruised and struggling to draw in breath Leana made it to her feet again, one ankle twinging slightly but not enough to stop her from reaching the alleyway.  _ Break line of sight, gotta get distance! I can’t get dragged down. Not again.  _ Every inhale smelled of ghoul and copper, a bloody nose streaming down her face and she hoped it was just because she hit her head and not because of rapidly absorbing all the radiation that ghouls exuded. 

_ Gotta move. Gotta move.  _ Breaking line of sight on the ghouls she was able to climb over a few crates and drop down behind their meager protection. Huddled between an ancient dumpster and several crates there was just enough protection offered that she could pull around her backpack for her medkit. Nestled safely inside was the two Med-X she owned. Stabbing one syringe into her leg released sweet pain relief through her body while the other went into a pocket for easier use along with her Jet and the bulkier Psycho. As the pain from being slammed and thrown around faded into an after thought her medkit was set aside.  _ Better. Now, to get out of here. I can hear the ghouls looking for me. Have to keep moving, have to keep quiet. Mines aren’t working but the drugs are. I can get away. Get help. Just have to be quiet. _

Glancing around the alley she cowered in Leana saw that her exit was blocked by an old school bus. Growls and moans came from the other side of her hiding place as more of the ghouls were drawn to the sound of gunshots.  _ Shit. They’ll find me. Have to move.  _ Moving carefully was easier as the Med-x blocked the pain from her injuries but she was still unstable. A small part of her recognized that her ankle was at least twisted if not broken. Clumsier than usual she moved slowly, vision still a little blurry from what she assumed was a concussion Leana didn’t see the tin can until it was too late. Clattering of metal on stone echoed down the brick alley, the ghouls on the other side of her hiding place pausing in their shuffling. Leana could feel their eyes as if the empty sockets could see through the crates blocking the entrance to her hiding place. 

Holding her breath as she tried to move faster it didn’t seem to matter as a few ferals started scrabbling at the boxes behind her. Heartbeat thudding in her ears, breathing coming in quiet but quick gasps, she scrambled down what felt like five miles of alley toward the bus at the end.  _ Shit Shit Shit I gotta go.  _

Reaching the end she found that the bus itself was not flush to the building’s edge with a big enough gap at the front that she could squeeze through.  _ I can fit through that. Just toss the bag through first.  _ As she thought it her hands were already working loose the straps holding her heavy bag in place. _ I can grab it and run if I need. Can’t make it very far without all my shit. No one lasts long without supplies. _

Sliding the bag through the gap first it was a tight fit but she made sure it was against the wall next to where she would be coming out, ready for a quick grab.  _ Bag is through now it’s my turn. Suck it in girl.  _ As bruised as her ribs were the close fit pressed in against the injuries. Breathing was impossible it felt like and just as she was almost free there was a heart-stopping jerk as the strap holding her shotgun got caught on the bus’ license plate. 

_ Shit shit shit! Stuck!  _ Frantically trying to wiggle the strap free she never saw the first heads peek over the wall of garbage at the other end of the alley. A crate fell forward crashing into the alley attracting more of the monsters.

_ Oh fuck. Oooooh fuck. I’m stuck and about to be surrounded. FUCK! _ Frantic didn’t describe the way her heart leapt into her throat, her stomach dropping, her eyes widening, and she swore time slowed down as she looked between the threats rapidly approaching and the strap that was holding her in place. Another rattle of boxes announced that the ferals had successfully made it over the barrier, tumbling over the barricade to start crawling toward their new meal.

Panicked tears slid down grimy cheeks as she gave it one more push, one more attempt at squirming free and her efforts were rewarded with the sound of tearing and a release of pressure. Free from the bus’ grip, Leana fell back into the road and landed badly on her already damaged right arm. Something snapped, like dry kindling under pressure, and pain flooded through her nerves overwhelming the Med-X in her system. The scream was an accident, the lights dancing in her vision a problem, but the ghouls didn’t care. They heard food, prey, a target, and came running. 

Laying on her back gave her time to grab out one of her last inhalers of Jet she had crammed into a pocket, the plastic filthy in her mouth but when she depressed the plunger nothing mattered anymore. Her mind sped up and she had time now to calmly aim her pistol at the first few that headed her way. Accuracy wasn’t an issue with her usual shotgun but on Jet she had -time- to aim. She could line the sight up with their leathery foreheads and pull the trigger, admiring how cleanly the bullet went in before moving on to the next target. 

As staggered as the beasts were she had time to unload the first clip while struggling to stand back up again. The horde slowed down enough, buying her time to stab in the last full unit of Med-X and run back across the street. Back into the first alley she had hidden in, conveniently clear of barricades thanks to the ghouls but this time instead of making a right she made a left past the mind she had attached to the wall. 

Giving the offensive dud a glare she saw that the lights were still on, though faded, and hoped that maybe this time it would go off. Maybe this time it would actually work… 

Running was weird. Wrong. Time felt off and her mind was racing to process everything around her. She could smell the different levels of decay that came with ghouls and the destroyed city around her. Taste the remnants of the drugs at the back of her throat. Her body was numb but she felt how her muscles struggled to work around the messed up ankle. Something was wrong with her arm but there wasn’t time to look at it, she had to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. As the Jet was wearing off she started to shake, synapses struggling to slow back down again and so she trembled like a leaf barely hanging onto it’s branch.

Down the back of the building and making another left into a new alleyway Leana had to pause and try to collect herself.  _ Too many too fast. Bad reaction … Med-X can’t hold back pain for long. Broke. Something Broke…  _ Finally looking down at her right arm she saw just how bad the break was. The bones of her forearm peeked through the leather armor, blood flowing freely and she had to think for a moment before realizing just how -bad- this was.  _ Can’t shotgun .. SHOTGUN!  _ Left hand dropped to where the hilt of the modified shotgun always sat only to find nothing but a torn strap.  _ LOST IT! No no no no no! I need it! Never won without it! Can’t survive without it!  _ Hard as her damaged lungs worked they couldn’t bring in enough oxygen as her panic attack started to take over.

Racing to the end of the alley, disregarding how quiet she needed to be, Leana climbed up onto the crates to look toward the bus she had left behind. Sure enough, several ghouls were still climbing through the shattered remains of the windshield and passenger windows ignoring her backpack and treasured shotgun laying there. 

_ Need it. Need it. NEED IT! I can’t … not without. Safe, strong, always won with it.  _ Short tiny gasps of pain-laced air raced through her lungs, hyperventilating while trying to figure out just how she could get her things back. The good hand went back into her pouch to check on her drug supply and came out sticky, the bent syringe of a Stimpack in her wet fingers.  _ Dead… I’m dead. Just Psycho and Jet left. Dead without bag. Dead without gun … Dead.  _

No amount of air could alleviate the suffocating weight of mortality, her whole body shivering from blood loss and drugs, pain and fear. Panic. She focused on one thing. One thing that had always made her feel safer, stronger, more capable. 

She focused on getting that shotgun back. With that she could win. With that she had escaped the raider camp all those years ago and kept her friends safe. The last time she didn’t have the gun she lost them and that realization settled like lead weights onto her tired shoulders.  _ I’m dead…. Denise … Irene … I’m dead.  _

Sitting back on the crate, Leana carefully reloaded her 10mm with one hand, the gun held between her weak knees. Sliding the full clip into place, a satisfying click letting her know she was loaded, Leana looked once more at her bag near the hood of the bus.  _ Buses explode. Grenades in the top of my bag. If I can Jet I can aim and hit. Bag goes, bombs go, ghouls go, maybe even the building.  _

Careful as she climbed down the crates, ankle screaming in agony as she limped along the wall trying to not get the feral’s attention, Leana inched closer to where she could clearly see the bag. Tucking herself into a covered doorway, plywood and metal sheeting preventing her from getting inside the building, she watched as ghouls mingled in the road trying to find her. Blood was splattered all over and confusing them but the bag itself was untouched. 

One last inhaler of Jet was brought to her lips, eyes closed as she depressed it again and the cloud of chemicals filled her laboring lungs. Snapping open her eyes the empty drug inhaler was dropped to her feet and 10mm pulled up with the slow steady grace of someone who -knew- this was the end. Someone who knew it was just a matter of pride now, to take down as many of them as she could before finally falling herself.

First several shots took out ghouls that were between her and the pack, two more sent into the bus hood to weaken it further. The final five bullets in the clip were aimed at her bag. The drugs were starting to wear off but she got the kit holding her grenades open by blowing the lid clean off in only two attempts.

Tremors started back up again, the downside of Jet kicking in as she started to shake and the gun in her hand only had three shots remaining. Without the drugs to steady her aim, steady her mind, the panic returned and when she looked around her the ghouls were already moving to converge on her position. Second to last bullet landed right where she needed to though, just before the ghouls reached her, and the grenades in her backpack exploded.

Thrown into the wall from the force of the explosion, head colliding with the plywood barring her entrance, Leana watched as the bus caught fire and exploded just as she managed to regain her feet. Ghouls were thrown like rag dolls through the air, into walls, through boarded windows. Deafened by the noise, dizzy from drugs and being slammed into a wall yet again, Leana slid down to sit on the front step of whatever shop this had been to try and regain her balance. 

_ Spin spin … Hurt…  _ Blinking rapidly, vision swimming, she was confused for a moment why there was someone standing behind a burning bus, calm as could be and pointing down the road away from the ghouls.

_ Is that… Denise? Dead? You’re dead? Am I?  _ Struggling back to her feet though she had to lean heavily on the wall next to her to do so, Leana blinked again and Denise was farther down the block sitting on an old bus stop bench. “Wait… Don’t go. Wait for me …” Dry from fear her voice was raspy and strained. “Denise! WAIT!”

Without realizing she had done so Leana was halfway across the road when the inhuman guttural screaming of ghouls cut through her drug-clouded mind. Whipping around to look behind her she saw that a majority of the ghouls were streaming from the alleys and beginning to race toward her. Unmoving bodies littered the street, a few of them still burning, but the rest were coming right for her. “Oh … shit.” 

Everything just stopped. Her heart stopped, breathing stopped, mind stopped, and even the panic stopped as she stared at the ghouls that were making their way directly to her. Feet slapping the cracked pavement in their mad dash to reach her, gaping mouths open in unheard screams, a sea of hungry monsters flooded down the street. Somewhere in the back was an explosion and some of the ghouls stopped to look behind them. 

The building near the ramp entrance that she had attached a mine to a lifetime ago cracked, an entire three story section of the wall crumbling down on top of the stunned horde. The ground shook as more of the building came down, bringing the neighboring structure with it and burying ghouls beneath the rubble.

_ I should be running … Go… Need to go …  _ Turning in slow motion, her mind finally catching up with what just happened and realizing just now that she had the perfect distraction to cover her escape, Leana saw Denise gesturing frantically.  _ Right. Go to Denise…  _

One step, two steps, her limping gait became a labored jog as she reached out to Denise with her good arm. “Wait for me, I’m coming.” Everything ached but surely if she could reach her friend she’d be alright. That was all Leana focused on and as her hand came in contact with Denise’s shoulder pure shock laced through her when the illusion was broken. Denise was gone and Leana was left standing in the middle of the road with feral ghouls running to reach her. 

“I’m all alone … Just ghouls. Just me and ghouls…” Somehow she knew that Denise was truly gone but felt as if she had lost her friend again. Every inch of her body ached, blood still dripped down her hand from the ruined right arm, and she gave up. Falling to her knees as something shook the ground, or perhaps her world was truly falling apart finally, she turned to face the horde. 

Pulling out her 10mm again Leana looked at the clip to see she had one shot left and looked at the blank-eyed monsters that charged toward her.

“You were wrong, Denise. You were finally wrong. I am going to die alone. You always said we’d be together. That I’d always have my friends...” Cold metal touched her temple as the barrel of the 10mm was raised. Her eyes closed while inhaling the sharp tang of gunpowder with her last breath. “Sorry X-01.”

Her finger on the trigger, eyes closed with tears falling down her cheeks,she exhaled as the gunshot shattered through her thoughts of the Red Rocket, Dogmeat, and … Deas. 


End file.
